As I was working all week and Neb was at his fathers weekends, I began to feel a little lonely and went back to the singles club and there I met Eddie. He seemed to be a nice person and I met his family and children. His mother was very kind to me. He was separated from his wife but not divorced and I don't think he ever got used to the idea his wife had left him and didn't want him back.
We went out to various things at the club and sometimes a dinner out. After about six months his wife began divorce proceedings and he didn't let on too much to me but I got the idea he wasn't happy with that and wanted his wife back and I was just a distraction. I couldn't see it then but looking back in hindsight I can see it he was struggling and he was also smoking weed which I didn't like and tried to discourage him from that.
One weekend the social group went on a boat cruise and Eddie didn't come. After getting home for the cruise I turned on the television and to my shock saw his car on the screen with the story he had killed his wife and tried to kill himself. I was stunned and in shock I nearly collapsed and questions going across my mind. Why? How? etc?
I had been in that car two days earlier.
This could of been myself murdered. Then feeling sad for his wife's children and her family. I didn't know what to do so decided to phone his mother who was in shock also and wanted me to come around to see her. Being the weekend and Neb was at his fathers I decided to go even though it was around ten at night. She didn't live very far from myself.
His mother was so traumatized and couldn't stop crying. I tried hard to be strong for her but inside was falling apart myself. I just battled on with all various degrees of emotions inside as I had got very fond of Eddie. But I just could not condone this behavior. What do I do? Do I support him or disown him?? I really cant remember what I did first or last. I know I supported his mother and visited Eddie a couple of times in jail but then never visited him after that as I found out he also had another woman behind my back. So that was it for me.
He only served around two and half years which was wrong and should of been life as it was premeditated, yet failed to kill himself. He tried but was saved by the paramedics.
I one day heard a knock on the door and it was Eddie he had got out of jail and came straight to me. I was stunned and only let him in as I was still close to his mother who now was very ill with cancer. I told him I was not interested in him and to go back to Karen ( the other woman). He left but he kept following me to the various singles groups I belonged to. I kept discouraging him and he soon was banned from the group. Yet he still kept following me and trying to call in.
One evening I came home and got out of my car and went to my front door when out from under the tree near my door came Karen with a brick and she smashed my head against the side of my brick home. I was again shocked and out of the corner of my eye I saw Eddie hiding under the tree watching her do this to me. I ran inside closed the door and called the police. I pressed charges and she got some type of fine and I took out a retraining order. That is why I have problems with agoraphobia at times due to being scared to come home.
Looking back I can now see why I have anxiety disorders, depression and fibromyalgia.
That was the end of Eddie but I have sometimes seen him in a certain shopping centre which I try to avoid. At this centre I was also attacked by a girl who had, had a massage with me and blamed me for her back pain. I found out later she was high on weed also just like Eddie always was.
I hope I never see either of them again.?
I did go to his mothers funeral around the same time as the above and that was the last of Eddie in my life.
Friday 22 August 2014
COMMUNITY WORK DIPLOMA HERE I COME
During 1981 and 1982 I also began doing study at Tafe to get my Diploma in Community Work which was a new course and I was selected out of many to be able to do the course. It was hard being a single Mom and studying at the same time and having left school at fifteen it was hard to over come many of the assignments I had to do etc. Being a two year course I worked so hard to complete the course and felt so proud when I graduated and walked across the Festival Centre Stage in 1982.
My best teacher who was in charge of the course was Stan Cameron-Fox who was the best teacher and mentor for me and he helped me allot. So sad he is no longer with us today. The course involved assignments, weekends camping out at various times and generally learning how to be like a social worker in the role of community. As part of my assignments I took in boys from a boys school (for boys with problems) and I would help them over a weekend. Like cooking and going out with my son as a family and generally teaching them how to live in society. I also became Coordinator at a Neighborhood House and ran various programs from self esteem to cooking and other types of home skills for men and woman. I remember painting the sign outside the Neighborhood House and feeling so proud I was part of a new house. It is still there.
While I was doing all this I was also trying to help my son who had learning problems and got him home help after school to help him and at weekends he would go to his father and grandmother and get utterly spoilt
After I graduated I got a job as a counselor with Jenny Craig who first opened in Adelaide in the 1980s. It was a crazy time as it was so popular in the USA and was now in Australia. I worked from 8am to after 10pm at night for around six months. It was so busy and I had to have Neb minded by my next door neighbor who had children and a brother around Nebs age and I thought it was good for him to be with other children. This I found out later was not to be the best thing I ever did and I pay the price every day for that now?? ( More in story to come???)
My best teacher who was in charge of the course was Stan Cameron-Fox who was the best teacher and mentor for me and he helped me allot. So sad he is no longer with us today. The course involved assignments, weekends camping out at various times and generally learning how to be like a social worker in the role of community. As part of my assignments I took in boys from a boys school (for boys with problems) and I would help them over a weekend. Like cooking and going out with my son as a family and generally teaching them how to live in society. I also became Coordinator at a Neighborhood House and ran various programs from self esteem to cooking and other types of home skills for men and woman. I remember painting the sign outside the Neighborhood House and feeling so proud I was part of a new house. It is still there.
While I was doing all this I was also trying to help my son who had learning problems and got him home help after school to help him and at weekends he would go to his father and grandmother and get utterly spoilt
After I graduated I got a job as a counselor with Jenny Craig who first opened in Adelaide in the 1980s. It was a crazy time as it was so popular in the USA and was now in Australia. I worked from 8am to after 10pm at night for around six months. It was so busy and I had to have Neb minded by my next door neighbor who had children and a brother around Nebs age and I thought it was good for him to be with other children. This I found out later was not to be the best thing I ever did and I pay the price every day for that now?? ( More in story to come???)
Sunday 10 August 2014
AUNTY DORIS , UNCLE ALLEN AND TANYA
Aunty Doris and Uncle Allen were Kevin's uncle and aunty and thought the world of Kevin and myself.
But they got more and more hurt and upset with him when we found out he had a criminal record a mile long all to do with false pretenses and fraud. This we found when he went missing for over four months. They both supported myself and Neb and had us over to dinner many a time. Aunty Doris became like a mother to me and was my constant confident until they both died in the 1990s.
I had to move on with my life and found myself in 1982 commencing the first Women's Studies group to be started in South Australia and it was a year old course. So I went off to Tafe to do this course about three days a week for one year.
I was always home when Neb came home from school as the tutorials were always over before three pm. I also began to learn remedial massage and competed the course in that along with Peristaltic massage where you used a Dr's blood pressure tool. I got really interested in natural therapies an
and felt I could use these in time to come which I did.
I began to do massage from home and could do it while Neb was also home. I seemed to attract older people but also terminally ill people. One dear man used to see me once a week and when Oliver died he had left a card in his belongings to be given to me with around $500 in it. I was in tears yet felt so special as I had helped him allot.
I met Tanya who came for massage and she worked for a very big Company. When she first came I noticed her balance was not good and she was dragging one leg. I did the treatment I knew how to help her but kept telling her she ought to go to her Doctor. Eventually she did and it was diagnosed she had Motor Neuron disease a very quick auto immune illness with no cure. Within six months she was in a wheel chair and as she only had a very elderly mother who could not look after her she was put into a hospital for terminally ill people. It was so sad and I began visiting her twice a week at the hospital to massage her and to give her some company. She relied on me as had no one else to care for her. She was around about fifty at the time. As she got so bad where she could not move and would try to keep me by her side as I could see the fear in her eyes as I left. Once she was in a position in bed she could not move anything of her body, yet her brain was functioning very well. I could understand how scary it was for her. This illness is the worst I have ever seen. It was a blessing when she passed away.
Tanya had been writing a book about women's sport in South Australia and the manuscript was always beside her bed. I always wondered if it would ever get published and if so who would do it. Many years latter I was in a book store and saw her book. A group of sports women had got it published so I felt so happy it had been achieved.
Around this time I was lonely at times as had no real friends but made new friends who were doing the women's study course which was great for me. I was asked out to a singles group so when Neb was at his fathers during the weekends I would attend these groups and met my dear friends Maggi, Laraine and Jo, who I am still close friends with today.
At one point we decided to break away from the Catholic Single group and we started up one of our own and called it North Side Singles. We had a committee and had meetings planning what and where we would have our meetings and also many house parties. This was my real introduction to alcohol and even though I really did no like it I began to drink for the effect it gave me. I met and went out with various men but no one special. I just enjoyed being involved in the club we had. We used to go way for weekends and tried to make the club a happy caring group for lonely single people. We had to try and screen people so we didn't get any unsavory people so the group was all above board and it did retain its good reputation.
Also around this time Kevin was arrested and was in jail at Yatala and requested to see me. I went a few times and decided he was not worth waiting for and finally went through divorce number three. Aunty Doris and Uncle Allen agreed and helped me through this time. I changed my name by deed poll giving me name number five.???
But they got more and more hurt and upset with him when we found out he had a criminal record a mile long all to do with false pretenses and fraud. This we found when he went missing for over four months. They both supported myself and Neb and had us over to dinner many a time. Aunty Doris became like a mother to me and was my constant confident until they both died in the 1990s.
I had to move on with my life and found myself in 1982 commencing the first Women's Studies group to be started in South Australia and it was a year old course. So I went off to Tafe to do this course about three days a week for one year.
I was always home when Neb came home from school as the tutorials were always over before three pm. I also began to learn remedial massage and competed the course in that along with Peristaltic massage where you used a Dr's blood pressure tool. I got really interested in natural therapies an
and felt I could use these in time to come which I did.
I began to do massage from home and could do it while Neb was also home. I seemed to attract older people but also terminally ill people. One dear man used to see me once a week and when Oliver died he had left a card in his belongings to be given to me with around $500 in it. I was in tears yet felt so special as I had helped him allot.
I met Tanya who came for massage and she worked for a very big Company. When she first came I noticed her balance was not good and she was dragging one leg. I did the treatment I knew how to help her but kept telling her she ought to go to her Doctor. Eventually she did and it was diagnosed she had Motor Neuron disease a very quick auto immune illness with no cure. Within six months she was in a wheel chair and as she only had a very elderly mother who could not look after her she was put into a hospital for terminally ill people. It was so sad and I began visiting her twice a week at the hospital to massage her and to give her some company. She relied on me as had no one else to care for her. She was around about fifty at the time. As she got so bad where she could not move and would try to keep me by her side as I could see the fear in her eyes as I left. Once she was in a position in bed she could not move anything of her body, yet her brain was functioning very well. I could understand how scary it was for her. This illness is the worst I have ever seen. It was a blessing when she passed away.
Tanya had been writing a book about women's sport in South Australia and the manuscript was always beside her bed. I always wondered if it would ever get published and if so who would do it. Many years latter I was in a book store and saw her book. A group of sports women had got it published so I felt so happy it had been achieved.
Around this time I was lonely at times as had no real friends but made new friends who were doing the women's study course which was great for me. I was asked out to a singles group so when Neb was at his fathers during the weekends I would attend these groups and met my dear friends Maggi, Laraine and Jo, who I am still close friends with today.
At one point we decided to break away from the Catholic Single group and we started up one of our own and called it North Side Singles. We had a committee and had meetings planning what and where we would have our meetings and also many house parties. This was my real introduction to alcohol and even though I really did no like it I began to drink for the effect it gave me. I met and went out with various men but no one special. I just enjoyed being involved in the club we had. We used to go way for weekends and tried to make the club a happy caring group for lonely single people. We had to try and screen people so we didn't get any unsavory people so the group was all above board and it did retain its good reputation.
Also around this time Kevin was arrested and was in jail at Yatala and requested to see me. I went a few times and decided he was not worth waiting for and finally went through divorce number three. Aunty Doris and Uncle Allen agreed and helped me through this time. I changed my name by deed poll giving me name number five.???
Wednesday 6 August 2014
BACK TO REALITY AS A SINGLE MOTHER.
After my mother left and I was on my own again it was sad as I felt all alone. My mother wanted me to come and live near them but I just could not take my son away from his father no matter how bad he was. I missed my own father I could not at the time do it. In hind sight I ought to have put myself first and gone and things may of been different?
As I still could not do housework due to the operation and not able to lift things for a few more weeks. I was looking in the jobs vacant in the paper and saw an advertisement for a demonstrator in Adelaide. This was to demonstrate the first Soda Stream to come to Adelaide. This was device to make your own soda drinks at home. I was lucky as I got picked to do the job in David Jones in Rundle Mall Adelaide. I enjoyed the job and enjoyed getting dressed up and strutting my stuff on the microphone and explaining and showing how this machine worked. Eddie was my boss and he was very helpful and kind to me. Where I was working was a shoe repair shop and a guy called Kevin worked there. I had not noticed him too much but one of the other workers came over and introduced him to me. It wasn't long before we formed a friendship and went to lunch together and and then somehow with in a few months he was living with me.
Up until now I only knew he was divorced and had a son called Ronnie. That his parents lived at Murray Bridge and his father was ill with emphysema. He had been living in a small flat so to come and live in my little home was comfort for him. Little did I know what I had got myself into? The relationship went fast and within 9 months we decided to get married in the Uniting Church in Gawler. I again went through the organizing of a wedding. I had my mother make my wedding dress. This was just a long beige frock nothing too stunning, but was nice. I had brides maid and flower girls in brown and we carried apricot flowers. His mother and father came to the wedding and I thought all was well.
Then little by little the truth came out. Kevin had been to jail on false pretenses and was on some sort of bond.I was shocked and angry when I found out but as usual being my nature I forgave him. Neb liked Kevin and got on well with Ronnie who used to stay with us from time to time. Kevin was a very good shoe maker and also very good with saddlery and after a few months we decided to open the first and only Shoe Repair and key cutting shop in Gawler. The shop is still there today. I feel proud to of being part of opening this kind of much needed shop. The business was going very well and we were making a good living. There were many bizarre stories Kevin would tell me which would turn out to be a lie. He was so convincing you would believe everything he said. One of his weird stories was he came home and said his father had died. I naturally send some flowers to his mother who phoned to say his father wasn't dead. But no Kevin insisted he was dead and we made a car trip to Murray Bridge and he refused to take me to the house where his mother lived and we ended up going around to the cemetery and of course not seeing a thing. I could never work out what this was all about, and still don't. Another day he came home and said he had got a contract to do all the boots for the army from Bridge water and I would be able to and pick them up and take them back. This was another convincing lie that never happened.
The business was going well but Kevin wanted a bigger space in the shopping center we were in and he wanted to start and do more saddlery work. The area we lived had many farmers and horse breeding places so I relented and we rented a bigger place. At the same time we decided to sell the very small home I owned and we bought a much bigger place at Paralowie from the South Australian Housing Trust. This meant a longer travel time to Gawler each day but was Kevin's way of keeping me out of the business as I had 2 boys to get to and from school every day. So I would only go to the shop once or twice a week as was told everything was doing well. I had been doing the books before this time but Kevin decided to handle the book work as well. I was none the wiser to know all was not well at the business. It was Kevin's grand alto ego to be a big business man. The money was coming in for groceries and the mortgage was being paid. So I became a home house wife looking after Neb and Ronnie. I at that time enjoyed being a mother and wife. Neb was getting bullied at school and I was forever having to try and sort all this out. Ronnie used to protect Neb at school. I made some more new friends and also was trying to find out what was wrong with Neb as looking back now I know he has Aspergers or some syndrome like this as he was not doing well at school and established he was also dyslexic like myself. But apart from Spelt ( an organization for children with learning difficulties.) I got no help for his problems. I took him to Dr, Psychiatrists, and special gym for his coordination and I did so much running around for him trying to get help. But in those days help was not readily available. His father was much of the problem I was told as he got spoilt each week end and came home with money, toys and what ever he wanted he got. But his father never helped in his problems. It was a hard struggle seeing my child getting bullied at school and not liking school. It was terrible and I wished we had never moved from Gawler.
Then one day I got a phone call to say Kevin had stolen a car and was now on the run. Well I got into my car and tried to stop him but I was too late. I got stopped for speeding on the way to Gawler and the police thought I was weird as I was saying I am trying to stop my husband stealing a brand new car. I got off with a small fine.
When I got to Gawler he was gone. The guy we had employed was busy mending shoes and got a surprise when I walked in with this news? Well from there on Kevin just disappeared and I was left with two children to look after and a business to run. After four months around 1981 he was not found and I had to go bankrupted and lost everything, house and all. Fortunately I was able to rent the house from the housing trust so did not have to move. The day the Bankruptcy came through I collapsed and fainted in my kitchen as it all got too much for me. Remembering I had no family to lean on or to help me.
The neighbor called a Nun in the area and she came to see me and comfort me and Clare became a good friend. I am not Catholic and was expecting a nun to arrive in her black and white, but no she came in jeans and riding a bike.
This again got my immune system went down and I was constantly in fatigue and pain. I went to Dr for help telling my story and was just put on Valium and sleeping pills.I ended up in a hospital for the mentally ill for a few weeks to recover and Ronnie had gone back to his mother and Neb was with his father. I just managed to get through one day at a time. It was tough.
Around the end of 1981 Kevin was found on Magnetic island in Queensland and was bought back to South Australia and was jailed for around one year.
.
As I still could not do housework due to the operation and not able to lift things for a few more weeks. I was looking in the jobs vacant in the paper and saw an advertisement for a demonstrator in Adelaide. This was to demonstrate the first Soda Stream to come to Adelaide. This was device to make your own soda drinks at home. I was lucky as I got picked to do the job in David Jones in Rundle Mall Adelaide. I enjoyed the job and enjoyed getting dressed up and strutting my stuff on the microphone and explaining and showing how this machine worked. Eddie was my boss and he was very helpful and kind to me. Where I was working was a shoe repair shop and a guy called Kevin worked there. I had not noticed him too much but one of the other workers came over and introduced him to me. It wasn't long before we formed a friendship and went to lunch together and and then somehow with in a few months he was living with me.
Up until now I only knew he was divorced and had a son called Ronnie. That his parents lived at Murray Bridge and his father was ill with emphysema. He had been living in a small flat so to come and live in my little home was comfort for him. Little did I know what I had got myself into? The relationship went fast and within 9 months we decided to get married in the Uniting Church in Gawler. I again went through the organizing of a wedding. I had my mother make my wedding dress. This was just a long beige frock nothing too stunning, but was nice. I had brides maid and flower girls in brown and we carried apricot flowers. His mother and father came to the wedding and I thought all was well.
Then little by little the truth came out. Kevin had been to jail on false pretenses and was on some sort of bond.I was shocked and angry when I found out but as usual being my nature I forgave him. Neb liked Kevin and got on well with Ronnie who used to stay with us from time to time. Kevin was a very good shoe maker and also very good with saddlery and after a few months we decided to open the first and only Shoe Repair and key cutting shop in Gawler. The shop is still there today. I feel proud to of being part of opening this kind of much needed shop. The business was going very well and we were making a good living. There were many bizarre stories Kevin would tell me which would turn out to be a lie. He was so convincing you would believe everything he said. One of his weird stories was he came home and said his father had died. I naturally send some flowers to his mother who phoned to say his father wasn't dead. But no Kevin insisted he was dead and we made a car trip to Murray Bridge and he refused to take me to the house where his mother lived and we ended up going around to the cemetery and of course not seeing a thing. I could never work out what this was all about, and still don't. Another day he came home and said he had got a contract to do all the boots for the army from Bridge water and I would be able to and pick them up and take them back. This was another convincing lie that never happened.
The business was going well but Kevin wanted a bigger space in the shopping center we were in and he wanted to start and do more saddlery work. The area we lived had many farmers and horse breeding places so I relented and we rented a bigger place. At the same time we decided to sell the very small home I owned and we bought a much bigger place at Paralowie from the South Australian Housing Trust. This meant a longer travel time to Gawler each day but was Kevin's way of keeping me out of the business as I had 2 boys to get to and from school every day. So I would only go to the shop once or twice a week as was told everything was doing well. I had been doing the books before this time but Kevin decided to handle the book work as well. I was none the wiser to know all was not well at the business. It was Kevin's grand alto ego to be a big business man. The money was coming in for groceries and the mortgage was being paid. So I became a home house wife looking after Neb and Ronnie. I at that time enjoyed being a mother and wife. Neb was getting bullied at school and I was forever having to try and sort all this out. Ronnie used to protect Neb at school. I made some more new friends and also was trying to find out what was wrong with Neb as looking back now I know he has Aspergers or some syndrome like this as he was not doing well at school and established he was also dyslexic like myself. But apart from Spelt ( an organization for children with learning difficulties.) I got no help for his problems. I took him to Dr, Psychiatrists, and special gym for his coordination and I did so much running around for him trying to get help. But in those days help was not readily available. His father was much of the problem I was told as he got spoilt each week end and came home with money, toys and what ever he wanted he got. But his father never helped in his problems. It was a hard struggle seeing my child getting bullied at school and not liking school. It was terrible and I wished we had never moved from Gawler.
Then one day I got a phone call to say Kevin had stolen a car and was now on the run. Well I got into my car and tried to stop him but I was too late. I got stopped for speeding on the way to Gawler and the police thought I was weird as I was saying I am trying to stop my husband stealing a brand new car. I got off with a small fine.
When I got to Gawler he was gone. The guy we had employed was busy mending shoes and got a surprise when I walked in with this news? Well from there on Kevin just disappeared and I was left with two children to look after and a business to run. After four months around 1981 he was not found and I had to go bankrupted and lost everything, house and all. Fortunately I was able to rent the house from the housing trust so did not have to move. The day the Bankruptcy came through I collapsed and fainted in my kitchen as it all got too much for me. Remembering I had no family to lean on or to help me.
The neighbor called a Nun in the area and she came to see me and comfort me and Clare became a good friend. I am not Catholic and was expecting a nun to arrive in her black and white, but no she came in jeans and riding a bike.
This again got my immune system went down and I was constantly in fatigue and pain. I went to Dr for help telling my story and was just put on Valium and sleeping pills.I ended up in a hospital for the mentally ill for a few weeks to recover and Ronnie had gone back to his mother and Neb was with his father. I just managed to get through one day at a time. It was tough.
Around the end of 1981 Kevin was found on Magnetic island in Queensland and was bought back to South Australia and was jailed for around one year.
.
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