As I moved every year of my life and more, in between,life was never stable for me. Yet I found I had one thing I could do where ever we went and that was running and swimming.
I was very good in these sports even though I was small and short I could do these sports. It was the only time I got any praise and even my mother would stand at the end of the line when I was running and cheer me on. This is the only time I felt okay and a little special. I still have the old certificates, where I got awards for running and swimming.
I like all types of running and did the sprints and also the long distance run. I had to run with the boys in the long distance or steeple chase as it was called as there was no races of that type for girls. I used to come in at around the first, five or six with the boys. I"d get cheered as I ran to the finish line. I did just as well in swimming and won the Championship for girls for the whole of the North Island in New Zealand when I was around twelve and I had a good future to go to the Olympics. I had a coach who was encouraging me. So I was deciding whether to concentrate on running or swimming. I liked both and thought I could do both. But it became my little dream that some day I would go to the Olympics. This also helped with the depression I had as a child. It kept me stable. I used to run around the farms and roads where ever we lived. It got me away from the abuse and dysfunctional family I was in.
We had a strawberry farm and my brother Les and myself had to get up at around 5am before we went to school and chase all the birds away from the strawberries. I used to be so tired at school as wasn't getting enough sleep. But that is what we had to do. My half sister Ellen was eight years my junior so we really didn't know each other very well due to the age difference and being the step fathers child she was spoilt, unlike Les and myself who were always being punished for something we had supposed to have done?
It was around this time that my stepfather decided he had found God and became involved in the Seventh Day Adventist church. He made us go to church every Saturday and then I wasn't allowed to go to the sporting events, so after a time I lost interest and gave up the sport as I had to be a good little Sabbath keeper and study the bible. The step father was so strict and took delight in being the Lord of the house and bossing us all around including my mother.
I would go to school with welts on my legs where he used a belt on me me for something I had or had not done? He was a very scary man.
So sport helped me up until I was around thirteen and then my dream went. I was so sad and now know I was suffering from depression and without the running it got worse. My mother took me to the Doctor and he put me on antidepressants. I however never told anyone about the abuse at the hands of my stepfather or the elders from the Seventh Day Adventist church. I kept it inside for many years. As at that point I didn't know what was right or wrong, I was only a child learning from poor roll models.
From thirteen on-wards my life changed for ever as my dream of going to the Olympics had gone.
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